New Kids on the Block – Credit Unions Worth Watching

Despite NCUA reports of consolidation and attrition, new credit unions are chartered all the time. Not these . . . but maybe they should!

 
 

With serving the underserved and unbanked a key component of the credit union philosophy, Callahan and Associates is pleased to shine the spotlight on these examples.  Identifying an untapped niche in an increasingly crowded marketplace is not easy, but these six new “additions” to the credit union community show us that there is always a new way to help.

Cash Advance Employees Federal Credit Union
Recent surveys indicate that there are more payday lending facilities in the United States than there are McDonald’s restaurants.  Acknowledging that their own employees would probably not benefit from nor appreciate a mortgage product with 650% APR, the nation’s leading payday lenders have come together to offer their staff  true member value and competitive products.  Also, they’re currently considering a name change to Irony Federal Credit Union.

Reality TV Federal Credit Union – “Even after you’re voted off the island, you’re still welcome here.”
Between rejected American Idol contestants, scores of Big Brother housemates, and more “Top Models” than America can handle, reality television stars are the fastest growing SEG in the nation today.  Board members Joe Rogan, Evan Marriott, and Puck from those really old episodes of MTV’s The Real World are working overtime to make sure that every reality television “star” can get a competitive loan product.  Survivor’s Johnny Fairplay gives a strong testimonial:  “Even a d-list celebrity like me gets a-list treatment at Reality TV FCU.  They gave me a toaster when I started my Christmas Club!”

Hogsmeade Credit Union
Tired of travelling all the way to Diagon Alley just to withdraw some galleons, sickles, and knuts?  Dealing with goblins becoming more trouble than it’s worth?  Grab your brooms and head down to Hogsmeade Credit Union, right in the midst of Britain’s only all-wizard community.  Located on the former premises of Zonko’s Joke Shop and secured by a series of protective spells by Minerva McGonagall, your family treasure is safer than ever.  Next fall, CEO Aberforth Dumbledore intends to open a student run branch at Hogwarts – no former Death Eaters need apply.

Xenu Credit Union  -- “Audit Your Mind.  Leave Your Money to Us.”
When you look at a loan application, do you realize that you are the only person in the universe who can authorize that loan?  If so, that Xenu Credit Union needs you!  Nowhere in the entire MEST can a clear find more member value for financial services. After all, there’s no reason you can’t have a house as you travel along the bridge to total freedom. Get additional 20 bps on certificates with each OT level (OT III through OT VIII).  Also, get your advanced tickets for a special screening of MGM’s “Valkyrie.”

MADDOX Federal Credit Union
If you’re new to America, conveniently portable, and photogenic, then there’s a good chance you’ve been adopted by Angelina Jolie.  Or are about to be.  Either way, MADDOX Federal Credit Union is here to help you.  With significant increases in deposit rates for the past three years, MADDOX has the reserves to help all of Angelina Jolie’s children meet their needs.   Sign up today and win one of this month’s fabulous new member prizes, including a Kate Spade diaper bag, Fight Club on DVD, or an opportunity to speak to the United Nations on the benefits of microloans to indigenous trades people in third world countries. 

Oprah Credit Union
Why not?  That woman’s got her fingers in everything .

That feeling you are feeling is definitely your funny bone being tickled.  We hope you enjoyed this April Fool’s Day addition to creditunions.com. 

 

 

 

March 31, 2008


Comments

 
 
 
  • What an insanely funny read ... thanks guys!
    Catherine
     
     
     
  • Funny stuff. Thanks for making my morning read enjoyable!
    Anonymous
     
     
     
  • Great fun...thanks!
    India